Knight at the Museum
by Sir Perfluous
Summary: Sir Ivan goes on an epic quest to find love and glory. Will he succeed? Will the Dino Charge Rangers find a way to save the museum's cafe? And will anyone ever find out what was in that mystery meat?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers… but I take full responsibility for this Bad Fic. I had a laugh writing it and hopefully you will too.**

* * *

The high energy dance music stopped as the robotic caveman Worg ended his dance class for the day. He shuffled off the stage as the floor cleared out and the last of the students came by to speak to him. The first was a red and white ninja looking robot called Redbot and he stretched his arms. "Nuts and bolts! That was a great workout! I must have sweated off 10 pounds in that session. If I can keep this up, then I'm sure I can make that Haley girl dump her boyfriend Calvin and go out with me instead. No one turns down Redbot. No one."

"Worg. Worg," the caveman android agreed while he high-fived another robot student. Robo Knight, who had come from Harwood County turned and gave Redbot an encouraging thumbs up, "Yes. These new moves are most fresh and afterwards I'll teach you how to spit some sick bars to close the deal. Check it Redbot. Same time next week?"

Redbot nodded and fired up his rocket boots with the Robo Knight. The two robots shot upwards and went straight through the ceiling, blasting through the roof of the Amber Beach Dinosaur Museum. That was when Tyler came over with a broom, a dustpan and a mad face. "Look at this mess! That's the third time this month Worg! You have to tell your jerk friends to use the door just like everyone else!"

Just then, Shelby walked in and stood in the way with a frown, "Tyler! Don't be so mean to Worg! I honestly don't know why you're so upset at him!"

He crossed his arms and started cleaning up all the plaster and asbestos, "Maybe I'm still upset because you dumped me and started going out with that bucket of bolts instead."

Shelby sighed and took Worg's arm, "Well, I can't help it if Worg is going places. He's already got a very successful business and career as a dance instructor."

"Worg-worg. Worg-worg."

Meanwhile, Sir Ivan of Zandar was busy in the kitchen working the café grill when Riley burst in through the doors. He looked very upset and was flailing his arms so Ivan greeted him with a kind smile, "Ah, Sir Riley. What seems to be the problem?"

"We've got a big one!" Riley answered, "The next shipment of frozen burgers didn't come in and when I called our suppliers, they said no one had ordered another shipment. Ivan, if this keeps up, we're going to run out of food!"

"I see. That is troubling news," Ivan agreed giving a grim nod, "Perhaps if you spoke to Lady Kendall…"

"That's just it!" Riley said waving his arms again, "I don't know where Miss Morgan is! Nobody does! She's been gone all day and isn't answering her phone or Dino comm."

As Riley ran off in a panic, Ivan frowned and felt his stomach drop. What if Kendall was really in danger and needed help? He knew he had to do something and he knew he couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. Without her, the museum would fall into chaos. He also knew he needed to tell her that he loved her… almost as much as he loved his job flipping burgers here.

He punched out his time card and went downstairs to the base to fetch his sword and armor. If he was going to go on a grand quest to save his lady love, he would have to do it properly. After all, he was a proud knight of Zandar. After getting dressed, he prepared to leave the cave when he stopped and said aloud, "Wait a minute… I don't even know where Kendall might be."

As he said that, an old alien in a long red robe who looked like an ET reject with a bad beard stepped out of the shadows. It was none other than Kreeper the Dino Rangers' _Deus ex Machina_ … I mean, "mentor." The alien appeared all stealthy and ninja-like with a big goofy looking smile on his face.

"Sir Ivan, I know where Kendall is," Kreeper said, "But you must hurry. She was captured by Heckyl and taken to those lava caves across town."

"How do you know this and why didn't you say anything sooner?" Ivan exclaimed.

"There is a simple explanation for that," Kreeper began but Ivan blew by him.

"Oh well, it's doesn't matter. I will bring back Lady Kendall and I won't fail!"

However his heroic departure was ruined as he took the slow elevator back up to the ground floor of the museum and ran into Worg. The caveman raised a hand.

"Worg-worg-worg-worg."

"No Sir Worg. It's not Halloween. I'm on a quest to save Lady Kendall from that villainous knave known as Heckyl. Will you join me in my search for love and glory? I will be in need of a loyal squire."

"Worg-worg!" the robot replied as it picked up a push broom and placed a bucket on its head to serve as an improvised helmet.

* * *

After a harrowing taxi ride across town, Ivan and his squire stepped out of the car and looked at the wooded nature preserve ahead of them. Not far from there was the cave where Heckyl was hiding. Ivan gave the taxi driver a few ancient gold coins from Zandar as payment causing the driver to get mad. "Hey buddy! What am I supposed to do with these?"

The two ignored him and the driver left in disgust. The heroes ventured into the forest and headed for the lava caves. Before they reached the mouth of the cave, Worg stepped up and pointed to the end of the treeline, "Worg!"

Ivan looked in surprise as the large red and yellow beast-man called Furry jumped from the bushes and growled, "Grr! I'm not letting you get any further Gold Ranger! I'm going to duel you here and prove that I'm a better warrior than you, once and for all! Grr!"

Ivan faced the lion man and put his hand on his sword, "Furry, I have no time to deal with you! I'm off to defeat your master Heckyl and save the woman I love."

"Grr! I don't care if you destroy Heckyl or not. I just want to defeat you!"

Ivan sighed, "Very well Furry. On my honor as a knight, if you let me pass then I promise I will come back here to do battle with you afterward."

The cat man growled, "And what am I supposed to do in the mean time?"

At that moment, Worg pulled out a bag full of catnip from his pocket and gave it to Furry. As the monster began to roll around on the ground enjoying the treat, Ivan and Worg passed into the caves.

* * *

Meanwhile back in the café, Chase and Koda were bringing in a big crate of condiment refills when Xenowing burst into the kitchen. He flapped his wings, "Everyone! I just figured out where Miss Morgan is and how we can defeat Sledge at the same time! All we have to do is…"

At that moment, Koda accidentally banged into a shelf causing a big heavy sack of french fry potatoes to fall on Xenowing's head. Chase bent down to examine him and said, "Oh nice going Koda! You just killed Xenowing!"

Riley burst in next, "We have a bigger problem guys. We're out of food and if we don't do something soon, the customers are going to riot out there!"

Koda looked down to Xenowing innocently, "But what we do with giant blue chicken man?"

Riley scratched his chin and gave a slightly evil look, "Don't worry Koda. I just got a great idea."

* * *

Back in the caves, Kendall stood tied up to a rock where hot lava was going to pour out of a hole in the wall very soon. She struggled and made a mad face, "You'll never get away with this Heckyl! I'll never tell you where the Energems are!"

As he paced nearby, the villain Heckyl twirled his imaginary mustache, "This is your last chance pretty lady. In five minutes a stream of lava is going to fill up this cave and melt everything inside it, including you!"

"That's where you're wrong you vile brigand!" Ivan called out gallantly stepping forward from the shadows and leveling his sword.

"Worg!" came the reply from the bucket-headed squire beside him.

"Oh good grief! Ivan! Worg! What are you doing here?" Kendall called out in shock.

Ivan smiled confidently to his adversary, "I'm here to rescue the woman I love so stand aside you villainous cur!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kendall exclaimed in outrage while Heckyl yawned in boredom.

"Step aside? Hmm… I think not."

To everyone's surprise, Ivan pulled out a dino charge blaster and aimed it where Heckyl and Kendall were standing. "Then I'll just have to make you."

"Are you insane? You might hit the girl too!" Heckyl yelled.

"Not unless I use this!" Ivan loaded the Cupid Charger into the blaster pistol and fired. Unfortunately he was an ancient swordsman and had no idea how to use firearms so he missed completely and accidentally hit Kendall instead. As Heckyl rolled out of the way, he ran right into Worg who slammed his bucket helmet down on the villain's head so he couldn't see. In a swift motion, he used his broom like a caveman club and crowned Heckyl over the head with it knocking the enemy out cold.

Nearby, Ivan cut the now smitten Kendall free and was surprised when she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big smooch. She said in a lovey dovey voice, "Oh Ivan! Thank you for rescuing me! I love you too!"

The Gold Ranger looked and saw molten lava begin to cascade down from the ceiling. He scooped Kendall up and began to run from the cavern, "Come along now Worg! It's time to go!"

The heroes made it out of the caverns just in time and dove free just as the whole lava cave exploded, just like in a Michael Bay action movie!

* * *

Later that day, the three returned to museum to find that amazingly, the place was still standing. As they made their way back into the café, they saw the other Rangers were cleaning up and closing the place for the day. The last few customers walked out patting their stomachs and giving content smiles commenting among themselves, "Wow… it's a good thing we came today. Those special chicken nuggets were delicious!"

Ivan looked around in surprise and greeted his teammates while Kendall continued to cling to his arm like her life depended on it. "Well met friends. I see you fared well in my absence. I've just returned from a great quest with Sir Worg and I have a tale to tell."

Chase looked over and laughed in amusement as he saw the lovestruck Kendall hanging off the knight's every word and movement, "Oh I'm sure it's a good one mate. We can't wait to hear it."

Just then, Prince Philip III of Zandar arrived and walked in through the door! He dusted off his grey business suit and adjusted his tie before greeting everyone, "Hello friends. I'm here to make my meaningless obligatory cameo appearance for this episode. While I'm here, I don't suppose I could get a bronto burger, can I? I just came in from the airport and I'm starving."

"We still have chicken nuggets in back," Koda offered helpfully, "You try and you like."

"Yes. Thank you Koda. I believe I will," Philip answered as he followed the caveman toward the grill.

Ivan raised an eyebrow and turned to Riley, "I thought the café was going to run out of food earlier. How did you manage to find enough chicken to feed all the customers today?"

"Oh… umm, well… we got creative," Riley said evasively.

"Hey speaking of chicken, you guys haven't seen Xenowing around today, have you?" Shelby asked curiously.

"I'm sure he's around somewhere," Chase cut in leading the others off and trying to change the subject.

Ivan simply shrugged and let out a sigh of relief that everything had turned out for the best today. As Kendall continued to squeeze his hand and give his fingers light kisses, she stopped when she saw him pause with a troubled look on his face. "Ivan? Is everything all right? Is something wrong?"

The knight stopped and chewed his lip for a moment, "You know… I had a strange feeling just now that I was forgetting something important, but I can't for the life of me remember what that might be."

Kendall shrugged and pulled him toward the kitchen to join the others for a meal, "Oh well… whatever it is, it couldn't have been that important, right?"

Meanwhile back in the woods, night had fallen and the lion man Furry continued to sit on the ground and wait for Ivan to return for their duel. It totally wasn't happening, but Furry didn't know that. The monster man crossed his arms and gave a big pout, "Grr! Next time I see that knight, I'll get him for sure! Grr!"

 **End**


End file.
